Deliberacy

Venice

2010-08-02T12:49:00.000-04:00

So, it’s obviously been quite a while since my last update, and I’m also back home and no longer in the magical land of gelato and art history. However, I never finished my Italy updates, so for all of you who are interested, here’s where the rest of my travels in Italy took me.

June 18 is my birthday. June 18, 2010 was one of the best days of my life. We got up bright and early that day, leaving Hotel Patrizia at around 7:00 am for our 3-hour charter bus ride to the Venice ferry. Most people slept on the way there, and while I dozed a bit, the ride was just too beautiful to sleep through. Once we arrived, we disembarked, bathroom breaked, and headed for the ferry. The ferry ride to Venice itself takes about 15 minutes, and it’s a nice way to start off the trip. We encircled Venice, an exciting and surreal experience. As we docked near San Marco, the main piazza of Venice, everyone exited the small ferry and walked into the sunlight. The sun was sparkling in the water, and people were everywhere.

That was around 11:00 am, and our first endeavor was a gondola ride. Joe, Alyssa, Nicki, Julie, and myself began our search, keeping in mind Nuria’s warning that we should never pay more than 80 euros for our ride total. The first guy said his ride was 120 euros and that we wouldn’t find anything the cheaper. Further down we heard the same thing about a 100 euro ride, and we finally came to a group who offered to take the five of us out for 80 euros total. Sold. Our ride was only about 20 minutes long, and our red-and-white-striped driver did not sing to us, but it was a relaxing, peaceful ride through the quiet side of Venice. We went down canals that were nearly empty, and this contrasted sharply with the hasty and crowded atmosphere of San Marco.

Once done, Alyssa, Joe, and I parted ways with Nicki and Julie, and we began our search for a suitable restaurant for my 20th birthday meal! One thing you learn quickly about Venice is that the sidewalks (which are the only places to walk since there are only canals to get from place to place) are confusing and labyrinthine. Paolo and Nuria told us that if we got lost, we should look for signs that point toward San Marco; more on that later. Anyway, we finally found a restaurant not too far from San Marco. It was a cute little place right on a corner, and the waiter that took care of us was very friendly. For lunch, I got pork medallions with a side of freshly skewered vegetables. It was amazing! And of course, chocolate cake for my birthday dessert. I couldn’t have picked better company to celebrate my birthday with!

After that, we decided that we’d roam Venice a little more, but we were on a tight schedule. We only had a couple hours left before we had to meet our group back in San Marco Square, but there was still so much to explore. As those who know me can attest to, I’m a natural-born planner. Not to say that I can’t appreciate spontaneity, but even spontaneity has room for organization. Thus, roaming the streets of Venice is a romantic idea to many but, admittedly, a stressful quest for me. This is when Paolo and Nuria’s advice began echoing in my head. Alyssa and I eventually parted ways with the more ambitious, more free-spirited Joe, and us two girls began the search for San Marco.

We looked everywhere for signs of San Marco and even crossed paths with some people from our group, but as the sidewalks became more and more crowded and less and less familiar, a feeling of panic began setting in. Then, as we were breathlessly navigating another of the endless sidewalks, we noticed a paper note on a wall that simply said “San Marco” with an arrow pointing right. We decided to trust this questionable oracle, and after that first right turn, other signs became visible. We followed each one and, on our last turn, walked through a dark and cramped tunnel back into the sunlight of San Marco. It was a strange experience! We spent the rest of the afternoon shopping in places around San Marco Square, and that proved to be extremely (perhaps, excessively) fruitful.

We met our group back at the appointed time and place, and as our ferry docked on what seemed to be too soon a trip back to Florence, we watched Venice become diminish into the distance. For only getting less than one whole day in this mysterious city, I’m happy with and thankful for my experience there. I spent it with great people, and I saw and did as much as I could. I’m more than satisfied with my Venetian excursion.

Updates from Florence

2010-06-16T12:43:00.000-04:00

I want to apologize for my lack of blogging as of late; I don’t think I’ve provided any updates since I’ve been here in Florence, so I’ll do my best to let you know what I’ve been up to in the past week and half.

First off, thank goodness for Star Internet Café…all of us students found this place that’s only €25 for unlimited internet access for a month, so we definitely gave that place some hefty business for this month.

So, our first day in Florence was last Sunday, and we were all a little intimidated at first. Our hotel, Hotel Patrizia, is right next to the Arno (we’re very close to the Amerigo Vespucci Bridge, if you’re interested), and exploring the city the first day was a little difficult since we hadn’t quite gotten our bearings yet.

Florence is a very distinctive and unique place. The first thing I noticed when I stepped off of the bus was the smell of honeysuckle. There are a lot of other “smells” in Florence, but that is one of the most pleasant and permeating. The streets, too, are unique. The cobblestone has taken some getting used to, and my Florence map has become a close companion. Some of my favorite places around the city have included the Santa Maria Novella Piazza and walking along the Arno, passing the various bridges.

Classes in Florence have been really great. I’ve drawn in the Signoria, inside the Duomo, and on various streets of Florence. Coming to Italy, I thought a lot of my time would be spent working with live models, but all of our drawings have been based on paintings or sculptures; I’ve really enjoyed that because it’s been a great way to really get to know a piece of artwork. You can take a million pictures of places you’ve been, but when you sit down with something and draw it for a couple of hours, you really get to know it.

Last week, I drew Hercules and the Centaur in the Signoria. I’ve never seen such a kinetic statue, and drawing it really made it come alive for me. This week, our sketchbook assignment was a trio of drawings of faces: one from the Byzantine Period, one from the Early Renaissance, and one from the Late Renaissance. One of these drawings had to be cross-hatched; although I’ve done a bit of cross-hatching, it was still a challenge for me. It was great to experiment stylistically in a place like this, though; inspiration is everywhere. Once I’m back home, I’ll work on posting pictures of my drawings from here.

We also visited the Uffizi Gallery last week. We only got about an hour and half to spend there, and the amount of priceless paintings there was overwhelming. From there, a couple of friends and I began the search for dinner, and I had my first taste of real Italian spaghetti…and oh my goodness, it was nothing short of amazing. From there, the three of us took a walk along the Arno, and I had my first taste of cheesecake gelato. Friends, let me tell you that there’s nothing in the world quite like that. Cheesecake is one thing, but cheesecake gelato…divine.

On Friday, Alyssa, Joe, and I went to Pisa for the day. The thing about Pisa is, it’s actually a pretty small town; from the train station to the other end of the town is only about a 30 minute walk. So…we started walking. We stopped at a little place near the Arno for lunch, and for just €1, I had the best croissant of my life. Those who know me know that I’m a lover of all things bread, so for me, this was a heavenly experience. (I have a feeling that upon my return to the States, I’ll be in need of Italy detox…no bread or Nutella for a while!). After that, we just kept walking for a while, hoping to find some sort of something that directed us toward THE Tower. After about 20 minutes of walking, we came around one not-so-important corner, and we were greeted by architecture’s most famous blunder. The tower isn’t too tall, but it’s definitely still impressive. What I didn’t realize is that it’s surrounded by other Pisan architecture. We ended up paying €6 to go into the Baptistry and the Duomo of Pisa; going inside the Tower alone cost €15, so we opted out for that. After wandering around for a couple of hours, we grabbed some gelato and headed back toward the train station.

Instead of heading straight back to Florence, we decided to be adventurous and stop off at San Miniato on our way back. This place is known for its castle on top of a hill as well as some restaurants. “Why not?” we thought. Oh, how sadly mistaken we were! This place was a ghost town besides for the castle, which was a hike from the train station. We were all exhausted, so after walking around this place for about 30 minutes, we headed right back to the station to head back to the comfort of Florence.

This week has been pretty great so far. We visited the Academia yesterday which houses Michelangelo’s David and a plethora of altarpieces. The David is just as majestic and beautiful as everyone says it is. Thankfully, we caught it at a non-busy time, so we weren’t herded in and out like cattle. What I found particularly interesting, though, was the four unfinished statues of Michelangelo’s called the Slaves. I loved standing as close to them as I could and knowing that Michelangelo stood in that same spot. Because they’re unfinished, you’re given a real glimpse of Michelangelo’s process, an experience that really humanizes the genius we’ve all heard of.

One of the most fun experiences I’ve had in Italy has been watching the World Cup with the locals. Last week, we watched the US play, and a couple of nights ago, a group of us went to an Irish pub (yes, haha) to watch Italy play Paraguay. Watching the World Cup surrounded by a bunch of Italians is just priceless. There was such enthusiasm and passion in that room…you couldn’t help but root for Italy. J

Last night, I had the best Mexican food experience of my life! We’d all been craving some Mexican food, and one of the girls on our trip had been raving about this restaurant called Tijuana. After wandering the streets of Florence for a good 30 minutes, we finally found it, and oh goodness, it was all you could ever ask for in a Mexican restaurant. I got a chicken burrito, and it was fantastic. We also got chips and salsa (you have to order them here) and just feasted for a good hour, haha. The prices were fantastic, and we definitely plan on visiting it again before we leave.

After eating, we started walking back, and it came the most torrential downpour of rain I’ve seen in a while. I brought my little mini-umbrella (thankfully), but it didn’t do much good against the wind and rain. There’s this one piazza that we always pass through on our way around the city, and at that point, Alyssa and I were just soaked. We ended up running around in the rain, acting a fools (haha). It was fantastic fun, and Florence is gorgeous in the rain…at night. The lights just make everything come alive, and the rain really brings that into focus.

The rain in the day, however, is not as magical and fun. Today, we went to the Borgelo, which is basically Florence’s crowning jewel of sculptural collections. Our walk over to this place was marked by yet another downpour, and this time, it wasn’t as fun. We were all soaked by the time we reached the museum, so we all had to take a breather moment to get back into the art appreciation mode.

As Teresa my drawing teacher said, just the first room of the museum was worth the €4 entrance fee. I saw a few pieces by Michelangelo, my favorite being the Bacchus. I sat and drew for the majority of my time there, working on the amazing sculpture Mercury. Alyssa and I walked around a bit more after that, and then we headed back to the room.

This week has been cooler than last week because of the rain, but we think that the rain has made the mosquitoes seek shelter. We’ve all been getting extra-bitten in our rooms, so that’s a downside…but I’ve been loving the cooler weather.

I’ve been admittedly getting a little homesick. Kayla Beth tells me that the first three weeks in a new place are the hardest, and I believe that. I miss Seymour and the comfort of home, but I’m starting to really enjoy the growing familiarity of Florence. I’ve begun to frequent certain restaurants and gelato shops rather than just peruse random ones, and faces have become more familiar. I have a little less than 2 weeks left here, and even though homesickness takes hold every now and again, I take comfort in knowing that the people and places I cherish most are not going anywhere. Tennessee will still be Tennessee on June 30, and until then, I plan on soaking in every last bit of Florence that I can.

I turn 20 on Friday, and we’ll be spending the day in Venice. I can’t imagine a more exciting birthday, and it should be great fun.

If you’ve read this entire thing, you’re amazing, and I truly appreciate it. I’m going to do my best to continue to update this as my time in Italy comes to a close, so stay tuned. J

Last day in Rome, and other such adventures...

2010-06-07T06:40:00.003-04:00

Our last day in Ostia, Alyssa and I decided to venture to Rome (by ourselves!!) one last time. So, the night before and the morning of, I organized our metro plan of action for the day (it was a very Megan McSwain thing of me to do...I was proud ;) ). Our first stop was the Coliseum. We waited in the line for about 25 minutes, and it cost us €12 to get in. It was really neat to see everything, and it's a lot smaller than you think it would be (thanks a lot, Gladiator!).

After that, we rode the metro a couple more stops to Santa Maria Maggiore, but before we actually went inside the church, we stopped at a little cafe on a side street headed toward the church. It was the best meal I've had in Italy thus far! We sat on a little table on the sidewalk under a big umbrella while listening to accordion music. It was a beautiful day, we were surrounded by gorgeous Roman buildings with Santa Maria Maggiore right behind us, and we were eating glorious Italian food...it was perfect. The church itself was really gorgeous, and I'll do my best to post some pictures on Facebook later.

From there, we went hunting for Santa Maria della Vittoria, the chapel that houses The Ecstasy of St. Teresa. We found it pretty quickly, and it's a surprisingly small church. It is my favorite church that we've visited in Italy thus far, though, just because it was so beautiful and intimate. We spent a few minutes there, and then boarded the metro for our last stop.

We came upon the Spanish Steps pretty easily, and it's one of those things that isn't necessarily known for its artistic value (although they certainly are a work of art) so much as its historic merit. There were tonnnnns of people everywhere, all over the steps. Alyssa and I made it about halfway up, and then decided to descend the stairs in search of gelato, haha. I tried Nutella, and oh my word, it was absolutely heavenly! I was a sight to see at that moment...I'm a slow eater as some of you know ;) , and so even though I was doing my best to devour this gelato, it was dripping all over me and making a huge mess! haha.

We headed back to the hostel after that, and we were pretty exhausted. Since it was our last night in Ostia, Alyssa, Julie, Nikki, and myself decided to head out for one last dinner. We walked around for a few minutes and didn't really see anything that perked our interest until we came upon this hole-in-the-wall pizza place. We were ushered in by an old Italian man in a bright red sweater, so we felt compelled to enter, haha. It ended up being the worst meal any of us have had thus far! But...what an experience. To begin with, there was no one there, so that was a little discomforting. Then, he didn't really know what we were ordering, so when I asked him if we could go ahead and order, he just brought us all HUUUGE spoons, haha. After a few minutes, we ordered, and after about 45 minutes, we received our food. Alyssa's alfredo was drenched, I mean, DRENCHED, in olive oil. It was gross! And my spaghetti was absolutely saturated with butter. I ended up just dipping my bread it in like a dipping sauce because that's what it tasted like! By the end of it, we were all just ready to escape that place! haha.

So now I am in Florence, and all of us have discovered the wonderful Star Internet Cafe. You don't really realize how interconnected your world is until you're forced to be away from it, and so the internet, as sad as it sounds, has become an even more important part of our lives while we've been over here (in terms of staying connected with those back home). Tomorrow we're headed to the Uffizi Museum, which I'm super pumped to visit, and then beyond that, I'm not sure what this week holds. A group is considering taking a day trip to Pisa on either Friday or Saturday, and I definitely want to take part in that!

So thanks for all your prayers and thoughts and for taking the time to read all of my ramblings. I'll do my best to post some pictures on Facebook, so stay tuned!

- h

Day 2 in Rome

2010-06-03T15:19:00.002-04:00

Today was pretty busy! We left the hostel at around 10:00 for Rome, and when we got there, we started our walking tour. From there, though, my Michelangelo class split off from the rest of the group so that we could visit some sites pertinent to our class. We went to the Church of San Pietro in Vincoli where his Moses statue is, and that was really incredible.

After that, we met the rest of our group at the Trevi Fountain...which is just beautiful. Alyssa and I threw coins over our backs in to the fountain because that's what everyone else was doing, haha. Then, a few of us had lunch in this pizza place close by, and I had some amazing pizza with fresh tomatoes and basil on it. Simple but so good! We had some time left after that so we ended up perusing through some shops and stuff. We had more time than we thought we would to wander around, so about 7 of us went farther into Rome, and we ended up getting lost! We made it back to the Trevi Fountain about 20 minutes later than we were supposed to meet our group, but it was kind of fun just wandering around the streets and stuff (even though it really stressed me out for a couple minutes, per usual, haha).

From there, we went to the Pantheon. We didn't stay there long, but I was able to see Raphael's tomb , and that was really incredible. After that, we took a walking tour around the rest of Rome. I was able to take a lot of great pictures from different places, including the (supposed) site of Julius Caesar's murder and various ruins. From there, we finished up at the Coliseum, which is as beautiful as you'd expect it to be. All of us were super tired though, so we decided to come back on Saturday to go inside (it costs 11 euro to go inside of it). At that point, the group was allowed to do whatever they wanted, so myself and 3 of my roommates decided to take the metro back to our hostel...that was an adventure. It took us about an hour and a half, and we kept getting confused about which metro we needed to get on. We eventually made it to the right one, though!

Tonight, Alyssa and I went to restaurant about 2 minutes from our hostel called "Restaurante Cinese," haha. It was decent food for the price (no Sezchuan Garden though!), and we sat on clear glass that overlooked a coy pond...interesting, haha. I'm pretty exhausted now, so I think I'm gonna head to bed in a few minutes after finishing up some different stuff. We don't have classes on Fridays, so some of us are planning on sleeping in, perhaps heading to the beach, shopping, and eating all in Ostia tomorrow. We leave for Florence on Sunday, but Saturday a few of us are heading to Rome again! So, tomorrow will be our last "chill" day for a while, and I plan on enjoying it!

For now,

Hannah

A Day in Rome

2010-06-02T12:23:00.002-04:00

Yesterday (Tuesday), we left the hostel at around 9:30 to take the subway/train into Rome. We're actually staying in Ostia right now, a beach town right on the coast and about 45 minutes from Rome. Riding the train and everything went smoothly, except for when we were making one of our stops. We were going to get on another one of the trains, and this one was super packed because we were getting closer and closer to Rome. All of the group was able to fit on before the doors closed except for Alyssa, Ashley, and myself. It was a sad sight to see...haha. Thankfully, we heard Paolo (one of our director) say "sixth stop," so we knew where to go. We got there, and the whole group was waiting on us; there was no more confusion after that.

From there, we walked about 10 minutes to the Vatican, which from the street looks like some huge fortress. We were able to skip the huge line that wrapped around the block to get in because I think we had pre-booked tickets or something. First walking in, you have to go through customs since the Vatican is its own country, and after that, we were given our headsets for the tour. We had a really great guide who knew a lot about the artwork and its history (on a side note, she pronounced "the Pope" as "the poop"). We first walked to the gardens, and from there I could see the dome of St. Peter's, which was a surreal experience in itself. After that, we toured the Vatican, and from the beginning there were signs everywhere pointing toward "Cappella Sistina."

The Vatican museums have too much art to take in in a lifetime, let alone a day trip. Of course the Sistine Chapel was an experience; it was so strange to be standing in the this world-famous place that so many other people before me and after me will admire. All you want to do is lie on the ground and just stare up for hours and hours. You aren't allowed to take pictures, and there are guards walking around everywhere, warning people that they aren't allowed to take any pictures of any kind. They also do their best to keep the noise to a minimum since it is a chapel. It's more beautiful and overwhelming than I thought it would be; being there was an amazing, amazing thing.

Throughout the museums, I also saw The School of Athens and La Pietà in St. Peter's. St. Peter's, by the way, is a gorgeous, gorgeous place! La Pietà is the first thing you see on the right when you walk in, and it has a sheet of glass in front of it. That was kind of disappointing because I wanted to walk all the way around it to take it in, but it was breathtaking nonetheless. Alyssa and I both got a little teary-eyed looking at it; it was just such a surreal thing to have the opportunity to look at a statue that you've admired for so long.

After that, we broke for a quick lunch (at 3:00...haha), and from there, we went to Castillo de St. Angelo and looked around the outside for a bit. After that, Paolo took us down some really small side streets filled with shops and restaurants. It was a beautiful, beautiful walk, and I think a few of us plan on going back there on Saturday. From there, we went to the Piazza Navona, a renovated square that functioned as a place for chariot races back in the day. In the center was a fountain by Bernini called Fontana dei Quattro Fiumi. There were artists everywhere selling their work, and Alyssa and I got some gelato to walk around with. I got pistachio, which I was a little nervous about; it ended up being absolutely amazing!

By that point, it was about 6:30, and all of us were absolutely beat...so we headed home! Sleep was so wonderful last night.

Today was a really relaxed day. It's the Italian independence day, so we weren't allowed to go into Rome since it's going to be so wild. Alyssa, Ariel, and I headed to the beach for a couple hours, and I finally got my hands on some aviators (a staple of Italian fashion...haha). Classes were really great. My drawing class headed to a local square to do some sketches of people for a while, and after that, we went to church and did some drawings inside there.

Tonight, I plan on relaxing and Skyping. :) Tomorrow is going to a busy day--we're headed back to Rome for the day to do a day-long walking tour, so sleep tonight is a definite necessity!

All for now. Ciao!

Ciao!

2010-05-30T15:51:00.002-04:00

As of 3:30 am EST/9:30 am CEST, We travelled about 12 hours total: Louisville to Charlotte was about an hour and 15 minutes, then Charlotte to Rome was about 8 hours and 45 minutes. That's the longest flight I've ever been on, so I was a little nervous when we began boarding. I ended up sitting next to a delightful lady from Nashville named Terri. This was a really nice relief, being able to talk to someone about familiar things...it kept my mind off of the flight! Her daughter even visited Carson-Newman when she was looking at schools; it was great to share conversation like that with someone.

When we got here this morning, the first thing we did was claim our luggage and pass through customs and such. After that, we boarded our charter bus and headed to our hostel, Litus. You can check out pictures of where we're staying here: http://www.litusroma.com/. I'm sharing a room with 5 other girls, and our room is the biggest; we have 2 huge, tall windows that face the ocean. We opened them up this afternoon and just let the Roman breeze blow in. :) After freshening up and checking in with parents and such, my roommates and I headed down to the beach and walked around there for a bit. We ended up getting "gelato," which ended up not being gelato at all! Mine was the Italian equivalent of a Drumstick...haha. We're learning! After that, we all came back and took nice, long naps (I know this will make a certain someone especially proud ;) ). We had a short Orientation tonight at 7:00 with our directors and teachers, and after that, 2 of my roommates and I headed out to grab something for dinner because all of us were really hungry. We ended up at a small pizza place about a block from our hostel. Between the three of us girls, we finished off a delicious ham and cheese pizza. It was definitely...exquisite, haha.

Classes start tomorrow (my Michelangelo history class is Monday-Thursday, 10:00am-12:00 noon, and my Drawing II class is Monday-Thursday, 4:00pm-6:00pm), and some friends and I may head into the city tomorrow after classes for dinner. On Tuesday we'll be touring the Vatican and St. Peter's, and I'm pumped for that!

Anyway, it's about 10:00pm here, and I'm exhausted. Jet-lag hasn't really affected me too badly; when we landed this morning, it really did feel like 9:30 am rather than 3:30 am, and after my nap, I feel totally adjusted to the time here. I think it's just a matter of not having really slept in the past 2 days. :)

So, for tonight, ciao!

Re-learning the basics

2010-01-24T13:52:00.002-05:00

If you haven't had a chance to check out Francis Chan's latest book Forgotten God, run, walk, or skip to your nearest bookstore of choice and partake! Chan seems to be all about revisiting basic truths in order to take them seriously, and Forgotten God is all about the Holy Spirit and our tragic, and sometimes ignorant, neglect of Him. I've typed up a section of the chapter "Theology of the Holy Spirit 101" ... it's loaded with truths that are easy to overlook but important to grasp. They've challenged me, and I hope they'll challenge and encourage you, as well.

· The Holy Spirit is a Person.
· The Holy Spirit is God.
· The Holy Spirit is eternal and holy.
· The Holy Spirit has His own mind, and He prays for us.
· The Holy Spirit has emotions.
· The Holy Spirit has His own desires and will.
· The Holy Spirit is omnipotent (all-powerful), omnipresent (present everywhere), and omniscient (all-knowing).

· The Spirit helps us speak when we are in precarious situations and need to bear witness (Mark 13:11; Luke 12:12).
· The Counselor teaches and reminds us of what we need to know and remember. He is our comforter, our advisor, our encourager, and our strength. He guides us in the way we should go (Ps. 143:10; John 14-16; Acts 9:31; 13:2; 15:28; 1 Cor. 2:9-10; 1 John 5:6-8).
· From the Spirit we receive power to be God’s witnesses to the ends of the earth. It is the Spirit who draws people to the gospel, the Spirit who equips us with the strength we need to accomplish God’s purposes. The Holy Spirit not only initially draws people to God, He also draws believers closer to Jesus (Acts 1:8; Rom 8:26; Eph. 3:16-19).
· By the power of the Spirit we put to death the misdeeds of the body. The Spirit sets us free from the sins we cannot get rid of on our own. This is a lifelong process we entered into, in partnership with the Spirit, when we first believed (e.g., Rom. 8:2).
· Through the Spirit we have received a spirit of adoption as children, which leads us into intimacy with the Father, instead of a relationship based on fear and slavery. The Spirit bears witness to us that we are His children (Rom. 8:15-16).
· The Holy Spirit convicts people of sin. He does this both before we initially enter into right relationship with God and as we journey through this life as believers (John 16:7-11; 1 Thess. 1:5).
· The Spirit brings us life and freedom. Where the Spirit is, there is freedom, not bondage or slavery. In our world that is plagued with death, this is a profound truth that points to real hope (Rom. 8:10-11; 2. Cor. 3:17).
· By the power of the Holy Spirit, we abound with hope because our God is a God of hope, who fills His children with all joy and peace (Rom. 15:13).
· As members of God’s kingdom community, each of us is given a manifestation of the Spirit in our lives for the purpose of the common good. We all have something to offer because of what the Spirit gives to us (1 Cor. 12:7).
· The fruit of being led by the Spirit includes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These attitudes and actions will characterize our lives as we allow ourselves to be grown and molded by the Spirit. The Spirit is our sanctifier (2 Cor. 3:18; Gal. 5:22-23).

Loving at Arms Length?

2010-01-20T23:02:00.008-05:00

Lately I've really been examining in my own personal walk the idea of wholeness in Christ - the idea of really being truly, fully satisfied by and defined by Jesus. It's been an eye-opening and exciting journey, really. One thing that I've learned that has really struck a chord with me is the importance of friendship and community. My first impression of wholeness in Christ was being completely self-sufficient. While I do believe wholeness in Christ involves complete reliance on Him, we do know that it is not good for man to be alone. My good friend Kayla Beth and I were discussing this, and I came to this realization that we really do need other people. No, we don't need people the same way that we need God, but we do need people nonetheless.

So this got me thinking about the friends that I have been blessed with. I wonder - what would it look like to really love self-sacrificially? By that I mean, what is it like to love outside of my comfort zone? Sometimes I think we tend to love at arms length rather than face the awkwardness, unfamiliarity, and discomfort of loving sacrificially. The main thing I'm learning about love is, "It's not about me." So what if I don't have the right words to say ... so what if I don't know how to offer comfort: these things don't lessen the need of comfort and friendship, they merely slow down God's working in and through us. God never said to offer comfort and friendship when we felt like it ... Jesus simply impressed upon us in the Word the importance of community and friendship.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

- John 13:34-35

Loving like God? That's a tough command; that means loving beyond what we think we can love, and pushing our limits of comfort beyond what we're used to. While I know I'll never truly love like Jesus, there's no harm in working my butt off trying. It may hurt, and it may even get a little awkward ... but I don't think Jesus was ever one for staying in security bubbles.

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

- 1 Peter 4:8

Home again, home again...and other miscellaneous updates

2009-12-21T23:49:00.009-05:00

So I'm finally home after what I can confidently call the craziest semester of my life. 18 hours...never EVER again. This semester, I took American Literature 1, British Literature 1, Digital Imaging, Drawing 1, History of Graphic Design, and finally, Spanish 201, a correspondence course that I took through the University of Florida...why yes, that does mean that I taught myself the entire course. It was just plain painful.

Now I'm here at home and couldn't be more cozied in. My first night home I slept 14 hours. It was glorious. This is my second Christmas as a college student, and living away from home, I've realized that it's the little things I miss. Sure, sure, sounds cheesy and cliche, but for me, it's oh so true. I've missed Dad falling asleep in his chair. I've missed Shadow greeting me in the driveway by walking directly up to one of my headlights and just standing there. I've missed Mom and Allie laughing at their own jokes, so much so that I eventually join in, too. All in all, home is so very home to me. There's a peace here that's just unattainable when I'm in the midst of schoolwork, and the freedom that comes with Christmas and summer breaks can't be matched by the breaks that fall in the middle of a semester.

I've also gotten a chance to work on some personal projects. I designed a birthday party invitation and I'm in the process of designing Carson-Newman's Spring Formal 2010 shirt! How exciting is that?

Since I've been home, I finally got around to cleaning/rearranging my room. It's much more spacious, and to reward myself for my hard work, I bought my first real piece of furniture: a beautiful dark wood papasan chair from Pier 1. It was an exciting experience. :)

Last week, we had our annual friends' Christmas party last week. Every year since our freshman year of high school, my 5 girls from high school and I get together, draw names (ahead of time), and exchange gifts. It's always interesting to see how much we all grow and change in a year, yet we all still come together and enjoy one another's company.

It's an exciting time in my life...am I really growing up?

Glimpse

2009-11-25T22:24:00.007-05:00

Today I was at a gas station, and a well-dressed, middle-aged woman stormed in. She jumped in front of me in line and slammed her hand down on the counter. Angry woman proceeded to scream at the poor lady across the counter. Angry woman was ticked that the pump machine wouldn't take her card; the worker apologized, and the conversation ended when angry woman screamed, "THAT's the reason that machine is out there - so I don't have to come in here and look at you!"

WOW.... crazy! I just stood there with my mouth open, not even trying to hide my disgust! This whole incident got me thinking that that's all it takes - one little moment might be all you convey about yourself to someone else. How frightening. It scares me to think what glimpses of my character other people have seen. Don't hear what I'm not saying - I'm going to mess up. And people will see that. But regardless, I've got to keep in mind that my public actions and choices are just that - public, and accordingly, representative of God and of my character.

What glimpse am I giving? What glimpses are you giving?

Update

2009-11-19T11:04:00.006-05:00

The group arrived in London earlier this morning EST. They boarded a plane headed for Dubai at approximately 9 am EST today (11/19) and will arrive in Dubai approximately 12 hours later. Next, there's a 3.5 hour flight into Kolkata. Please coninue to pray! Thanks!

I have amazing friends!

2009-11-18T19:16:00.003-05:00

As I write this, my friends Kayla Beth Moore, Cara Hedges, Megan McSwain, Ah-reum Han, Pam Gray, Katie Hayes, and a handful of other Carson-Newman students are heading to Kolkata, India to spend about 10 days working with Freeset, an organization that works to free women from the sex industry by offering them legit jobs making free-trade bags to sell worldwide. It's a chance for these women to start over with freedom they were told would never come. My friends will also get to visit the places that Mother Teresa and William Carey worked, including Mother Teresa's Home for the Dying. Their lives are going to be impacted by the people they see and interact with, and in this moment, they have the chance to be Jesus' hands, feet, and heart in a distant land.

I echo Paul's sentiments in Colossians 2:5 when he said, "For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the firmness of your faith in Christ."

I'm thankful to God that my friends will get to experience this life-altering and eye-opening trip, and I'm thankful for friends whose light of Jesus shines warmly and brightly.

Will you join me in prayer for them today?

God has been teaching me....

2009-11-14T12:10:00.003-05:00

....nothing. Nothing, you say? That's right - the reason God hasn't been teaching me anything is because I haven't been reading my Bible. It's been a conscious effort on my part not to hear and apply the wisdom of God. In the past 2 weeks, I've probably picked up my Bible 3 times. This is a time in my life where I need God and His Word the most. I've been looking to others for vindication and allowing their opinion of me to shape my opinion of me.

That's just not okay.

Because I've allowed that to happen, my opinion of myself has swayed with the wind. Certainly, we should be aware of our own triumphs and downfalls, but at the end of the day, God's opinion of us is constant, never-changing. I know that my sin hurts Him, but His love for me does not change the way our human love so easily does. So I know I haven't written in a while, and this post is particularly brief, but take this post as an act of confession. I need prayer to keep going and specifically, to read my Bible.

2009-10-15T16:14:00.002-04:00

Ah, it's so strange to think this time last year I was writing about my excitement over fall break (check it out here). I remember my worry and stress - this year it's been taken to an all new level! Ha. Last year my worry and anxiety were mainly over whether or not I could actually survive college. That's not the case this year. I love where I am and am confident in the classes I'm taking. This year the tests are just actually hard...as opposed to last fall semester. It's strange and surreal, but it's exciting to see where I am and how far I've come! One more night here at CN...then it's time for home. I can't wait.

Day in the Life

2009-10-09T11:14:00.004-04:00

Here's the photographic narrative I had to make for my Digital Imaging class. Enjoy.

Thoughts?

2009-10-06T15:34:00.001-04:00

So here is a possible logo for my photography and design creations. I appreciate any and all feedback! Thanks.

2009-10-03T01:38:00.004-04:00

Hey guys...just wanted to clear something up. A few months ago (in May), I posted about a friend from high school who committed suicide. His sister IM'ed tonight, and we were able to talk for a bit; she let me know that it in fact was not suicide. He died in an automobile accident.

For any of you that knew Patrick or his family, please make an effort to stop the suicide rumor from being spread.

Also, please continue to pray for Patrick's family as they cope with this unimaginable tragedy.

*Philippians 4:7

I won't lie...

2009-10-01T22:23:00.004-04:00

...death scares me so. I know that we are promised a life more abundant after death, but something about leaving loved ones behind leaves an empty place in my heart. I write this with tears in my eyes for a good friend of mine. This afternoon her grandfather died suddenly and unexpectedly while working outside. This is an absolute tragedy for their family, and it does truly break my heart. I'm reminded of CS Lewis' words on the passing of his cancer-stricken wife, Joy:

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. [...] There are moments, most unexpectedly, when something inside me tries to assure me that I don't really mind so much, not so very much, after all. Love is not the whole of a man's life. [...] People get over these things. Come, I shan't do so badly. One is ashamed to listen to this voice but it seems for a little to be making out a good case. Then comes a sudden jab of red-hot memory and all this "commonsense" vanishes like an ant in the mouth of a furnace.

- A Grief Observed

No one can offer comfort in times like these. I don't know how to; we don't know how to. I thank HIM that His word gives us the strength to utter the words we thought impossible.

Have you ever really thought about the "peace that surpasses all understanding" that Paul talks about? Sometimes verses are really easy to skim over, but take a closer look, and they become quite mind-boggling. Peace - peace that does not make sense. Peace that in the midst of horror and grief flows freely - that is peace that doesn't make sense. Peace that overcomes anger and depression - that is the peace that does not make sense. Thus, in my heart of hearts, I know that death has been overcome, and while the thought of it scares me, I know my God triumphs, reigns, and loves. He will wash away our fears.

My prayer is that she and her family are surrounded by an inexplicable peace.

Will you pray for her family today?

Urgent Prayer Request

2009-09-11T07:49:00.002-04:00

Please pray for a friend of mine from high school, Chris Fine. He survived a terrible car crash and is now listed in critical condition at UT Hospital.

You can read the entire story here:

http://www.wbir.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=98420

The last news that I heard was that the doctors are not going to have to amputate his foot (which they once thought). Please continue to pray for God's blessing and healing. It is such a miracle that Chris survived and was conscious when he was found after 20 hours! Thanks for the prayers. I know Chris and his family will appreciate it.

Exciting News

2009-09-02T20:16:00.003-04:00

I've been asked by a good friend of mine, Jen Davis, to shoot her engagement pictures! I'm so excited! As a graphic design student, of course my main focus is working on the computer. However, I've always dabbled in photography; in fact, my interest in Photoshop is what got me working on the computer hardcore. Another exciting facet of this is that the art department has agreed to lend me their reeeeeeally nice (NEW) Canon camera for the entire weekend of the shoot. Score!

If there are any photographers out there reading this, shoot me some tips on poses, lighting, etc.

New Year's Resolutions

2009-08-18T18:39:00.002-04:00

Well, as we all know, most people set resolutions for themselves on December 31 only to be broken when Ben & Jerry's releases a new flavor. Well, my schedule's a bit off due to school, and for me, December 31 falls right in the middle of my school year. Rather than try to "start over" then, it's easier for me to set goals now, before I head back to school ... which is tomorrow.

One major thing I plan on adding to my schedule is a weekly dance class. I'm not overweight, but I'm tired of being unmotivated and out of shape. There's a dance studio basically on campus, so I plan on taking 1-2 dance classes there per week. I'm really excited about it because exercise is something that's important to me, but I haven't found my niche yet. I've always loved dance; I've tried running, swimming, and biking but none are fun or rewarding to me the way that dancing is.

Another goal of mine is to start a food journal. Again, I'm not looking to lose weight, but I want to be more conscious of what I'm putting into my body. Hopefully by doing this, I'll be less likely to put unhealthy foods into my body.

The aforementioned goals pertain to physical health, but my spiritual health is also in need of a revamping boost. All my life I've been a night person, so logic would determine that a "quiet time" would be best at night. However, I've realized that I have a tendency to put it off until the absolute latest opportunity, when the eyelids are already on the descent. So, my last and most important goal is to have a more consistent quiet time somewhere between 4:00 and 9:00. I'm going to wait until I get into the swing of things to determine a time, but determining a time is what's got to happen. By setting a time (ie 7:00), I pray that I'll be more likely to sit down with a focused heart and mind.

I ask that you pray for me in fulfilling these goals. Have you set any goals for yourself? Don't want until New Year's Eve...start now! Waiting only prolongs the delay in achieving your goals. Thanks for reading!

Looking Back...

2009-08-12T00:07:00.002-04:00

Well, summer for me is almost up. A week from Wednesday (the 12th) I move back into my dorm up at Carson-Newman. A friend and I were talking today, and whenever we talk, it's like God's love is just bubbling over. I love this girl. She always asks me direct, meaningful questions, which take me aback yet for which I am so grateful. One question she always seems to ask is, "What has God taught you?" - in this case, over the summer.

Hmm.

One thing that I can say is that looking back to last summer, I do feel completely different. I've engaged in challenging conversations, met new friends, been a part of 2 churches with newly laid foundation (both of which are amazing - check out The Ridge Community Church and Arrowhead Church), read interesting books and really tried to delve deeper into the Word, taken tough and inspiring classes, and through all of this, grown closer to my Jesus. Through these things, God has shown me ... stuff. This past year, I've learned that one of the most important (if not the most important) means of sharing Christ's love is by being His hands. That doesn't mean whipping out our favorite verses in the first few minutes of a fresh conversation with a new friend. It does mean sacrifice of time, spirit, energy, and money. By sacrificing these to God through donation to others, people begin to see - through the Spirit's power in us - that maybe there is something (someONE) worth living for. Not to say that God needs me, but the fact that He chooses to use me leaves me no other option but to recklessly serve. I haven't always done that, but God deserves nothing less, so I'll keep striving.

Second, I've learned that every day, every second, I must attempt to wrap my mind around the fact that God is enough for me. It's easy to fill my spiritual life with the overflow from my financial "happiness" and scholastic success. STUFF doesn't matter. Just in the past couple of weeks, I've really been thinking about the things my culture idolizes: fashion (cloth to cover your naked self), trendy TV (people pretending to be someone else for the sake of our own), high-end cars (machines that transport us from A to B), etc. That may sound random, but it's like it's all just hit me - all of that is so perishable and so fleeting. And I've been so caught up in it. Don't hear what I'm not saying - we don't need to be removed from culture. But this obsession is just suffocating. So, back to my point, obsession with all this stuff creates a taller and bigger wall between ourselves and God. I've felt this happening before. It's like every day is a struggle to be "Christian." However, removing ourselves from this obsession while remaining culturally relevant to people around us brings us closer to God's heart.

The question that's been on my heart all summer is one that I first read in Crazy Love by Francis Chan. It's a John Piper quote thats left me feeling really torn. I've thought about this, and it is a tough, tough question. I encourage you to ponder this question and see where you fall. Then, no matter where that is, let's all pray that God draws us closer and that in response, we live with total abandon to Jesus' call and commission.

"The critical question for our generation- and every generation- in this: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters- could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there?" - John Piper

Urgent Prayer Request

2009-08-07T22:38:00.001-04:00

This was in our Carson-Newman email announcements today. Please pray.

For anyone who is willing to pray...

We just received word from Brazil that gunmen broke into our City of Youth facility looking for Pastor Derli to kidnap and/or kill him. After 45 minutes, they were unable to locate him and left. We have recently had increased numbers of carjackings on the heavily-rutted road to the campus and have had many conversations with the police. It now seems either the police are working with the gunmen or there is corruption in the department (neither of which would be a surprise in Brazil) because the gunmen have been told that Hope Unlimited for Children is behind trying to get their activity stopped. Obviously, this is the kind of thing that can shut us down overnight. Please pray for safety for the hundreds of children and staff at our two campuses in Campinas-- and for wisdom for David and Philip as they address this situation.

You might find it helpful to know that this coming Sunday there is scheduled a charity basketball game on our behalf between NBA players and the Brazilian National Team. This will take place in Rio, and NBA players are already arriving; related events begin tomorrow. ESPN-Brazil is covering the game, and ESPN-USA is filming several segments to be aired here this Fall. Name recognition for Hope Unlimited is growing quickly with this and other things we have on the horizon. Satan does not want that to happen. Know that when you pray you are helping us fight a battle in the spiritual realm.

Ephesians 6:10-16
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; 15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Thank you in advance for your prayers on behalf of our children, staff, and their family members.

Susan & David Nowell

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

2009-07-11T20:09:00.005-04:00

What's been your worst, or strangest, neighborly experience? Mine goes a little something like this...

There is a rental house about 50 feet from our house on the same side of the road. It's junky and very cheap to rent. A lot of interesting travelers pass through there. One time a mom and her kids lived there. The mom, whenever we saw here, seemed kind of out it. Once her toddler ran into our yard stark naked covered in flour. The mom just walked into our yard and, without saying anything, picked him up and just walked back. It's not that I hated her, but I felt indifferent toward her. I didn't care that she was poor and broken. I just cared about her staying out of our yard.

When Jesus was questioned about the greatest commandment, He replied that it is first and foremost to "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." He followed that up with, "And a second [greatest commandment] is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Read more here: Matthew 22

It scares me to think that I'm preventing myself from investing in others because I'm clinging on to the things this side of Heaven, the things that give me security and keep my days neat and clean; I'm building those walls. That's not the life Jesus lived. He invested His life into those people...into us. I pray today that God softens my heart. What walls of ours are blocking out the neighbors?

2009-06-24T10:38:00.003-04:00

I don't really have an introduction for this so...I'll just start. What does full sacrifice really mean? That's a churchy question that gets asked a lot, but how often have I pondered and toiled over this question? Has it impacted my life? No and no.

In Francis Chan's book Crazy Love, I've been really convicted to explore the question, how full is my giving of my life, time, and money to God? Is it lukewarm? In Revelation, Jesus talks about the Laodicean church that has become lukewarm, believing themselves to be Christians but acting out of pride and contentment. He says He'd rather have them be hot or cold, but that paradoxical in-between stage where they blur the lines of "Christian" isn't working. He'll spit out the lukewarm church from his mouth (Rev. 3:15-16)! To summarize what Chan says, why would Jesus spit Christians from his mouth? Thus, these people must not be who they think they are. Isn't that completely scary? He goes on to say that not every one who has had a lukewarm season is unsaved by that beautiful Grace...which is good news for all! But he does challenge those of us who are Christians to look within us and see where the lukewarm lies, and to look around us and see how lukewarm our churches and world (namely, our country) has become.

Big-C Church

2009-05-27T18:25:00.003-04:00

I've been thinking lately about what it really means to be a member of the Church today. The Church is Christ's body. The body is made of different parts. It's not all arms, or all spleens, or all ears. Each part is completely distinct, yet all are interdependent. I read this last night by CS Lewis:

For the Church is not a human society of people united by their natural affinities but the Body of Christ, in which all members, however different, (and He rejoices in their differences and by no means wishes to iron them out) must share the common life, complementing and helping one another precisely by their differences.

[Ever feel completely blown away by an author's ability to coherently verbalize your own thoughts?]

---

Another thought I've been thinking away...why do we have so many churches (little c)? Shouldn't the body be more united? Is the problem not enough Christlike churches, therefore more planting is needed, or is it the lack of community and fellowship among churches that leads to the problem? Granted, I attend a newly planted church that I know is God-centered and God-honoring. But what I mean is, can't we get back to the simplicity of just community and fellowship? I hope that we can but am not sure that we could. I have a great friend, Ah-reum, who is a Korean raised as a missionary kid in Africa. She told me that, coming to America, she was just astounded by the number of churches. This struck me. a) We take for granted the availability and convenience of our churches, and b) Why are there so many? I pray that our churches can be more united. There are many churches with many views, but my prayer is that the churches that are Christ-centered can work side-by-side, and the churches that aren't so Christ-centered will be reached by those that are.

What is big-C church and little-c church to you?

New Self?

2009-05-27T11:22:00.006-04:00

Last year's new is this year's old.

Last night, God brought to mind Ephesians 4:24. Looking back on my past blogs, I feel really selfish. It's easy to rant and ramble on about my own life, but how often am I bursting to talk about God? That verse reminded me that now that I've been transformed by Christ, that change, and what a huge change it is, should be evident to myself and others.

" ... and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness."

New: completely revised, altogether modified to become better. In Christ we are made new. There is no other process in life that offers anything close to that. God's love is just that powerful. God's "new" doesn't change. What was once new to God is never outdated; it's ALWAYS going to be new.

Self: We are still us. God's promises aren't meant to scourge our identities away. His love is meant to enhance them. But again, because we still are ourselves, transforming into this new self doesn't mean all of our temptations and shortcomings will disappear. They're still going to be there. It's just that now, we have an escape. Rather than run aimlessly when sin attacks us, we can run to God. God's promises are full of direction.

How are we showing people that we're new creations?

Learning to Cope

2009-05-22T11:25:00.010-04:00

3 days ago I lost a friend from high school to suicide. He was wild and crazy, and people didn't give him credit for much...he let people think of him that way. I was fortunate enough to see a side of him that many people didn't. During my junior year, I would walk back and forth to lunch with Patrick. One day he said, "Hannah, you know exactly who you are and you are okay with that. Whoever is with you is a really lucky guy." I will never forget that. I still thought about it even before Patrick died. He had a kind heart that many people didn't expect from him. I always had some sort of intuitive fear that something would happen to him, that we would lose him. I didn't really keep up with him after senior year, but he did leave an impression on me. His life and death have brought to my mind how little I pray for those who I know are hurting. I was upset and confused when I heard the news, but that was the first time I had thought about Patrick in a while. I don't want to be that way.

Today, I pray for Patrick's family, that God's peace and comfort would surround them. I pray that the do not turn away from God but run to him. Please pray.

How have you dealt with the tragic loss of a friend?

Oh, Happy Day ...

2009-05-19T13:09:00.008-04:00

The B was a mistake. I have a 92 in Art Fundamentals. :)

Finally! Activity!

2009-05-13T16:05:00.005-04:00

my two favorite things as of now: the pool and antm

So, I've been trying to find some sort of athletic...something that I enjoy. Tried running, and that was fun for a while, got a bit monotonous, and I ended up just giving up. I felt like a sqautty wannabe next to everyone else. So today I tried swimming at the SAC, and I must say, it was absolutely wonderful! I am a firm loather of sweat, and swimming perfectly compliments that. Usually when I exercise I get bored or too tired after about 20

minutes, so I just quit. I was in there for 45 minutes today! I

definitely want to keep this a habit because swimming is such a great workout for all parts of your body, not to mention I feel so relaxed from it.
Ah...so for the third day in a row there is an America's Next Top Model marathon on, and tonight at 8 is this season's finale. Needless to say, I've been glued to the TV for a bit. I enjoy the show but at the same time feel lazy and guilty for watching some much television day-to-day when I have tons of other stuff I want to do with this precious and long-awaited free time. There are so many books I want to read, and now is the time for that.

This one's for you, Cara...

2009-05-12T20:51:00.005-04:00

So today I got my last grade for this semester - and it was a B. In my easiest class. To be quite honest, I was/am completely vexed. I made all A's on my projects and 1 B, an 88. I'm a little irritated because I still don't know my grades on the last 2 projects, but I do know that of our 2 artist reviews and the final, I made all A's. I've emailed my teacher, called him, emailed him again, called him again - no, I'm not above begging. I'm also not against speaking with someone of higher authority in the art department. For now, I'm going to breathe, breathe...breeeeeathe.

On a brighter note, today I was fuming in my bed, trying to take a nap when my phone rang. I was nervous that it might be my teacher (ever want to talk to someone but am terrified by that idea at the same time??). Ah, what a wonderful surprise. CARA! It's been less than a week, but I feel totally lost without all my close friends from school. We just picked up where we left off, whining and laughing about grades and life and all that jazz. It was absolutely fantastic. Occasions like that do remind what's important in life. That call came right when I needed it. Thanks, Cara. :)

1 day down, 14 to go...

2009-05-11T19:50:00.003-04:00

Today was my first day of May Term. 3 hours of Environmental Science - long yes, but we did watch Planet Earth. I'm hoping for more days like that. I'm feeling so ... adult. Ha, just saying that kind of negates it. I'm living at the Honors House while I'm here for May Term. It's an actual house, and last night I did some grocery shopping (with Brad...hehe). It feels weird to have a house to yourself (I do have a housemate...but still!).

Okay, so again with the weird motherly instincts. Last night I dreamt that I had a child - and yes, I do remember what he/she (no, can't remember the gender, lol) looked like. That was the strangest part, that I woke up and could remember what the child looked like and what it felt like to hold it! Don't know what to make of that...well, it was kind of exciting.

Mmmm.....finals........

2009-05-05T16:05:00.004-04:00

Well, today I took my next to last final. It was for Graphic Design, and I actually had fun with it. We had to redesign the cover of our textbook. The attached photo is my finished version. Tomorrow I have New Testament, and after that, I'm technically done. I will, however, be here for 2 1/2 more weeks for May Term...yeah, it kinda sucks, but it was my choice because I need to get science credits in, but that's so hard during the regular school year because of all the studio hours I have. Ahh...the life of a busy college student. I truly do love it.

2009-04-26T18:13:00.005-04:00

I can't believe my first year of college is coming to a close. Really, that's still a surreal thought to me. I have honestly loved being here, making the best friends I've made, and learning more about the person God intends for me to be. Brad and I have made it through what I think would be the roughest year for a couple, and every day I am learning new things about him that no one else knows - it's rather rewarding. I'm looking forward to being home this summer, but I can't help but expectantly look forward to move-in day in August. There are people here that I cannot see myself ever living without, and I feel like I've know them for a lifetime. God has been so good to me.

In closing, how am I honoring God with my life? How are you? Questions to ponder on...

Weekend Update

2009-04-19T12:34:00.003-04:00

Well, I guess it's about time that I update on what's going on in my life. The semester is nearing its end (GASP), and then after that I'll be doing May Term until about the end of May. Big news - I talked with my parents, and they're going to help me fulfill my dream of studying abroad!!! Next summer, I'll be going to Florence and Rome, Italy for a month!! The summer after that, I'll be going to Africa for 2 weeks! I'll be getting 12 hours credit total from those 2 trips, and with those hours freed up in my regular school year schedule, I can add a religion minor! God is so good! I'm so excited about this. I pray that God will use all of this for his glory. I don't want to get tied up in the logistics of it - I want to praise him always.
One of my good friends Holly always inspires me. She's a fountain of wisdom, truly. She was telling me about this tattoo she wants to get on the inside part of her sole - one foot says, "God saves" and the other, "God pursues." She told me this message changed her life, and she wanted to bring that to other people (hence the writing on the feet). I've never really thought of God as a pursuer. I see Him as almighty, but I don't see Him as running after me. But He does. He pursues us with more passion than any lover and more heart than any saint. I love that about God. Our acceptance of Christ as our Lord does not come as a shock to God, but as a fulfillment of His love that He pours out on us. He is on the move.

"The winds of God are always blowing, but you must set the sails."

Minding my own business

2009-02-19T15:44:00.002-05:00

I've got a lot on my mind. A LOT. I keep trying to tell myself a religion minor can't be done, but it keeps popping up in my head. I don't want to think that is coincidence. It is possible, but it would require a lot of time and money, the former being the most burdensome. I want to do it so badly - I'm going to keep working and see what doors are opened. If they lead me down the path of adding another minor, then wonderful. If not, then that's okay, too.

Snow and Tests ...

2009-02-02T18:30:00.003-05:00

It snowed a lot today. It was nice, and I hope it will hold over long enough to get us out of school tomorrow. That would be absolutely splendid because I have a New Testament test on Wednesday that would must definitely facilitate an entire Tuesday of studying. Okay, so it would also be nice to sleep in a bit.
I have something that I've been thinking about lately that I am now seriously considering - double majoring. I had planned on minoring in English, but the more I think about it the more I realize that I would really enjoy higher level Literature classes. I was looking in the catalog today, and some of the upper level classes sound so wonderful to me - Literature & Film, in particular. If I double majored, that means I would need to take two Graphic Design/Art classes per semester and two English classes per semester until graduation. That puts me at twelve semester hours, and when you factor in other necessary hours (such as Speech), I think it could work. Dr. Crutchley mentioned something to me today - he said I should think about minoring in religion. If I did that, I'd have to take one religion course per semester until graduation, which puts me at fifteen hours already plus the other stuff I would need. I don't think I could handle that, because it would put me at at least eighteen hours per semester until I graduate. No, thank you. So, for now, I am seriously considering adding that major. For anyone who may read this, keep that in your prayers.
Speaking of prayers, I've noticed that I've been praying a lot more throughout the day. Just little prayers, nothing long or eloquent, which I think is okay. I don't think God likes formalities - the veil's already been torn. I was also talking to a friend recently who said that she has been asking God specifically for things that are His - ie, His grace, His love, His mercy, rather than "Grant me grace, love, and mercy." Now I don't think it's always right to get wrapped up in the syntax of something, but this really struck me. We can come to God, freely ask for something that is His, and then He gives it to us - amazing. It is easy to forget that Jesus tells us to ask God for our heart's desire (Matthew 7), but the key is that our hearts must first be in line with God's Word and will.
I pray today for God's peace during the times of stress, His mercy to those that seem harder to love, and His love that allows me to look at the world through His eyes, if just for a moment.

Dear Editor ...

2009-01-09T22:20:00.001-05:00

So - big news. I'm getting a letter published in People Magazine!! I was thanking them for including Brad Renfro in their "Farewells 2008" edition. Renfro was an actor from Knoxville who was in many big Hollywood films (Tom & Huck, anyone??). He had a big drug problem, though, and ended up overdosing this past year. At last year's Oscars, when they had a tribute to all the different Hollywood people who had passed away, Renfro was snubbed for the sake of many lesser-known actors and "Hollywood people." Despite all his problems, he was still a great actor and worthy of recognition, so that was kinda rude on the part of the Oscar committee.
So look out for the January 26 edition of People!

on the road again ...

2009-01-06T17:12:00.002-05:00

Well I'm back at CN now. I came back on Sunday around 5:30 and spent the rest of the night unpacking. Honestly, I was excited to come back ... and then when I got here, I was just ecstatic! This place feels so much like home to me now. And seeing all of the friends I hadn't seen in 3 1/2 weeks ... ah, it was amazing!
Yesterday I went with that Anna and that Lindsay to visit Alex in Johnson City. It was so much fun. Especially seeing Alex and her a m a z i n g condo! I really love that girl. Well, all those girls. :)
Today I've just moseyed around. Raining a lot. I went with Megan to Subway today and got a flatbread sandwich. I hadn't gotten one of those from there before, and I ended up being pleasantly surprised!
Speaking of surprises, I am actually really looking forward to school starting. I guess after a while, laying around, sleeping, & eating sporadically every day gets kind of old. I'm ready to be back on a schedule. And I'm also very excited about my classes! All of them are very interesting to me, especially my first official graphic design class!! I picked up my books yesterday, and the graphic design typography book is mind-blowing. I love it.
Now for one of my favorite activities: organizing (seriously)! Classes start tomorrow, so I'm going to get everything in order and try to get to bed early.

2008-12-30T00:51:00.002-05:00

I'm about to admit something awful - today I sat around all day and watched television. From the time I woke up (which was at 1, mind you) to the current hour, I've been sitting in front of the television. Worse than that, having nothing to do has left me to my own thoughts. My mind is often a tumultuous place. When I have too much time to think and dwell, it often results in me focusing on something I probably shouldn't be. Today my impatience got the best of me. Sometimes I can't stand the fact that people are married, and I'm not one of them! I know that sounds so silly, but being with the person you want to marry makes it that much harder to see others enjoying married life.

However, I know that God's path for my life is headed down that direction but isn't there yet. With that knowledge, I take peace in knowing that this is where God wants me to be right now. And when I really think about, I am totally and completely not ready for marriage right now. I am in love with Brad and enjoy all of my time with him, but financially and emotionally, I know that I am not mature enough for that yet. My prayer now is that God would help me to see the privileges of an unmarried life and to take full pleasure in those. Sometimes when I see happy newlyweds, I wish I were someone's wife, too, but when it comes down to it, that woman is a SEPARATE person from me. What works for her may not work for me, and their predestined path is unique, as is mine.

Sorry for the rambling. "Idle hands are the devil's playground" ... and in my case, an idle and bored mind. I am praying, and I know my Father will hear that prayer.

2008-12-28T00:24:00.004-05:00

Chris & Melissa had their baby today!!!! Well, technically yesterday. December 27 at 3:43(?)pm, Amelia Noelle Hill entered the world. Strange, I've always had a strange fixation on the name Amelia. Too late now! :) I am so happy for them; she is absolutely gorgeous!! She has thick and curly black hair, blue eyes, and is remarkably responsive for a newborn! I was able to go back with the immediate family and be one of the first to hold her. It was amazing. God is so beautiful! His family plan reminds me there is still good in the world, and Chris and Melissa - and Amelia - serve as a wonderful example of that good.

2008-12-26T22:38:00.003-05:00

Well Christmas for this year is over, and I am sighing of relief. On a college budget, it's hard to buy for all the people I want to buy for, and I don't like to give minimally. I like for every gift to be personal and unique. This either requires a lot of time to create something original or a good amount of money to find something unique (or a combination of both). I don't ever want to forget what this time of year is about. One of my favorite biblical passages is Mary's prayer. Whenever I meet someone meek and unassuming, I think of Mary. Multiple times in the Bible when trying times come to Mary, it says that she "pondered this all in her heart." I absolutely love that. I sometimes talk without a filter, and this can get you into trouble quick. But Mary, ah Mary, she chose to dwell on the confusing things and go to the Lord first.

2008-12-15T14:16:00.002-05:00

Officially done with my first semester of college! And I finished with all A's! I know that's not as big of deal in college as it was in high school; nevertheless, I am very satisfied with that! However, I'm going to have to separate myself from the idea that an A is the only acceptable grade for myself. I define myself too much by my school grades and not enough by the spirit of God within me and my God-given abilities and talents. There is some stuff I just have to let go. I won't be happy if I define myself by some sort of letter grade or number. That is not the life God intended me for!

2008-12-14T19:42:00.002-05:00

Tonight I'm in Chattanooga staying with my cousin for a couple of days. Today was her day - her graduation from UTC! I am mucho proud! Okay, not to make it all about me, but being there made me think that my college graduation is not that far off. High school graduation was one thing, because after that it's just 4 more years of school (in a different place with new people ... :) ). Now, though, there's no more classes, tests, walking to school in the rain. It's actually real life. There is so much about "the real world" that I crave ... but the thought of that being my life scares me. I don't know a thing about insurance, cooking ... all that "grown-up" stuff that personifies a productive member of society, good wife, etc. I think about stuff too much, no? I know that God's timing is perfect, and one way that I do know this is through college! This has been a perfect time for me to adjust to living on my own and having a certain amount of responsibilities without being thrust into the real world all at once. Gradual change is best for me, I believe.
And now, I'm gonna go play Guitar Hero. :)

By the way, Brad and his brother Chris are involved in planting a new church in Oak Ridge called The Ridge Church. They meet every Sunday at 6. If you are like me and can't always make it out there, check out http://www.mogulus.com/theridgechurch for a live feed of the message every Sunday at 6. Chris does a chat forum for anyone online, which is fun and is a good way to get involved in the respective subject. I think this is a wonderful place that God is blessing. Please check it out!

2008-12-09T23:54:00.002-05:00

I don't write on here nearly enough. My head is too full of ideas to let them bounce around in my brain, so I need some sort of outlet for them. I have picked up journaling again, as a way of visualizing my thoughts and to communicate with God with more focus.
Tomorrow I head home & I absolutely cannot wait. I get to see my man and family on the same day - ah, that is completely wonderful right there. Mary left today so I am all alone in the room tonight - never thought I'd get lonely in a bedroom to myself!
I finished my Christmas shopping on Saturday which served as a big relief because I am totally and completely DONE. I must say, on a college budget that is hard to accomplish. But for my little ball-of-stress self, 'twas necessary.
Old Testament exam at 10:30 tomorrow, and then I am FREE FREE FREE. I feel that I've studied to my best ability and to what I think will be on the exam. After that, it's up to Dr. Ballard to give me my A. :)
I am going to Chattanooga this weekend for family Christmas celebrations and for Ashley's graduation on Sunday. After that, my family is coming home, but I'm staying with Ash until Tuesday. It will be wonderful to catch up with her in her niche.
All for now - I need beauty & mind sleep!

h

Desire

2008-12-05T19:31:00.003-05:00

I recently started Desire (formerly The Journey of Desire) by John Eldredge, and I must say - what a mightily powerful book. His words captivate me with the same passion as Lewis, a nearly forgotten way of writing.

I was especially intrigued by the way desire is talked about in the book. Listen to this:
"We are desire. It is the essence of the human soul, the secret of our existence."

Desire is who we are. I've never seen myself in that light. When I think of the word "desire" I think of a lust which must be snuffed out. But the real soul of the word is not something sinful. We have twisted it into what we want it to be, for do not all sinful desires come from something that is beautiful at its core? (lust comes from sex, coveting from an appreciation of beauty, etc. - I'm taking this from Lewis) But that's not what we've been created for. If our essence is desire, then it must be God's as well. A desire that is so strong we cannot even fathom it - the desire for us to love Him with even an inkling of the ocean of love He has given us.

Later in the book, he goes on to describe the kind of deep, desire-filled connection between a man and wife. For a long time, I've never understood "God is the groom and we, through Jesus, are His bride." While I have not yet experienced the love felt only in marriage, I have started to see more clearly why this "Bridegroom stuff" is sprinkled so frequently throughout the Old and New Testament. The earthly love experienced between a man and a woman is, for some, the highest degree of euphoria this life (in itself) has to offer us. If that is merely earthly, and God compares that kind of ecstatic relationship to His future marriage to us, how much more wonderful it will be when The Bride is finally consummated to The Bridegroom! Peter Kreeft says, "The spiritual intercourse with God is the ecstasy hinted at in all earthly intercourse, physical or spiritual. It is the ultimate reason why passion is so strong, so different from other passions, so heavy with suggestions of profound meanings that just elude our grasp." Wow.

Sometimes the language of the Bible blows me away. In some ways, it's more controversial than any Dan Brown book you pick up. :) Who else but our God would choose to reveal Himself in such a raw, powerful way? Who else but our God can be found even in the most intimate of human relationships? For me, evidence of God is everywhere. His name whispers from the simplest to the most complex of human interactions and emotions. Instead of "waiting" for God to speak, I want to have ears to hear and eyes to see.

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
-Mere Christianity

1 down, 3 to go ...

2008-11-14T17:03:00.002-05:00

Last night's performance of "The Man Who Came to Dinner" went very smoothly. My family & Brad were there, which was so so wonderful. I really enjoy the people I get to work with in the theatre department; hopefully there is a future for me there. We have 2 more night performances and then 1 on Sunday afternoon. After that, auditions for "The Miracle Worker"!

Fewer & Fewer Posts ...

2008-11-11T13:05:00.002-05:00

... as the days go on. Life is getting crazier & busier by the day. But I still love it. I feel so happy about where I am in my life right now. I feel like God has given me the ability the balance my life here at CN as well as my life back home. I never go a really long time without seeing family or friends from home, but I don't ever feel out of the loop back here at CN. That's a good feeling.

Post-Fall Break

2008-10-28T20:48:00.002-04:00

Just got back a couple hours ago from being home since Friday. It was absolutely amazing. I didn't do much of anything, haha, just hung out with my family & Bradley and slept ... a lot. That was nice! I also spent the night at my mamaw & papaw's house on Friday night. I used to do that every Friday night, and it was so nice being back there.

Ah, I never realized how useful a Fall Break is. Don't think I can live without it now. :)

FALL BREAK is so close ....

2008-10-23T22:23:00.003-04:00

I only have one thing standing between me and Fall Break - my H&C test tomorrow at 11. At 12 noon tomorrow I will be the happiest girl on the planet. After that it's 5 days at home. Ah, I am SO excited.

Tonight was fun! Jody, Cara, Maggie, Alex, and I studied and actually made it fun! I feel good about the test tomorrow, just a little more studying for tonight.

Been a While, eh?

2008-10-21T20:03:00.002-04:00

Well, life's been crazy running back and forth between Seymour and CN. I spent this past weekend in Seymour, this coming weekend is Fall Break (FINALLY), and the following weekend I'll be going home for some Halloween festivities.

Life's been good here, just writing papers and studying a lot. I do try to make time for myself every day though, namely in my quiet time and in something fun - TV, book, etc. I cannot BELIEVE I'm already halfway through my first semester of college. I remember thinking that as a freshman in high school, and now, here I am. God's blessed me so much.

Friday!

2008-10-03T13:45:00.002-04:00

Got my first test back in H&C, and, praise be to God, I got a 96.5! I was so surprised (given my lower score on the H&C paper) and so very very happy. Also, I turned in my Art project that has been exhausting the life out of me lately; thank goodness that's over. Tonight I am going out with Megan and her Floridian family, and then later tonight I think I'll watch a movie with the ladies. Gosh, I've been so blessed with friends here, and I don't thank God enough for it.

Finally Done!

2008-10-02T21:22:00.002-04:00

I FINALLY finished that darn art project. It was basically 3 paintings for 1 project. All in all I spent EIGHTEEN hours working on it over the past 3 days. I am EXHAUSTED. But, thank goodness, it's over.

Now I am watching the VP debate, and it's pretty interesting. I like Sarah Palin and am voting for McCain - darn, Palin's intimidating!

Thank goodness tomorrow's Friday, and on Saturday, it's Family Day which I am very much looking forward to!!

Cincinnati

2008-09-22T20:07:00.003-04:00

Got back on Saturday from the Cincinnati trip, and it was wonderful. I had a great great time! We went to the Cincinnati Art Museum (I saw a Picasso and a Rembrandt ... pretty amazing). After that we went to see the play "Amadeus" ... which was great. It wasn't at all what I expected it to be, to say the least ... :) The producers were very loose with their PG rating.

The next day we went to the Freedom Museum about slavery in America and worldwide, which was really interesting, but I was just so tired from the night before! Then we headed on home, and it felt so good to be back here. We were all just dead-tired.

All for now,

Feeling good, feeling fine

2008-09-18T14:14:00.002-04:00

Sitting out here under my "study tree" on the south side of Henderson. I am just enjoying life today. It's a beautiful day and why not sit outside and work on your Mac?? I am loving it! We leave tomorrow morning for Cincinnati on the Honors Trip - I am really looking forward to it. It will be nice to spend some time with fellow honor students and get to know them a little more.

Just got back from a meeting with Dr. Austin about my H&C paper, and he really reassured me about how it's coming along. His attitude toward the actual paper made me realize I was taking it a little too seriously, but that's a good thing - I'm glad he helped me to realize that. Just gonna polish it up tonight, and then not worry about it any more!! It's going to be a great time.

1 Month in ...

2008-09-16T17:37:00.002-04:00

Well, I've been living here one month today, & I am absolutely loving it! I finally feel like I am a part of this college and not just a wanderer anymore. I auditioned for the play "The Man Who Came to Dinner" last night and got a callback today! We meet again tonight at 9; I'm so excited!! I am done with my rough draft of my H&C paper, and I'm feeling okay about it - still needs work, though.

Life is good & God is great.

Change of Heart!

2008-09-11T17:46:00.002-04:00

Decided to change my topic for the H&C paper to something I'm more acquainted with - argumentative and exploratory writing in general. I'm going to go off of "Socrates and his Pursuit of Truth, Goodness, and Justice." We'll see where that takes me. That stresses me out a little bit less even though it's due in a week ... uh, yeah. It will be okay. Now that it's a topic I actually enjoy, I think the writing will flow easier.

A Bit Stressed ...

2008-09-10T22:29:00.002-04:00

Starting my first paper of college, and it's for my Humanity & the Cosmos course. I'm getting stressed because I feel in over my head (it is a philosophy class, though, and I think any topic I could have picked would make me feel this way). I am just trying to handle everything at once, and some days I get distracted and don't finish what I need to for that day. Also, my quiet time has just downright sucked lately, because I haven't been putting forth hardly any effort into it. I think that too has factored into this empty feeling I've been having the past few days. I haven't gone to God like I should, and in turn, my life reflects this kind of "starvation." BUT ... I also know that it is possible to get things back on track, and the message @ BASIC tonight really reminded me of that - that sometimes you just have to take a quiet moment for you & God to be alone together.

Time Well-Spent

2008-09-07T20:14:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I was able to spend the whole day with Bradley. He came up here and ate with me in the CAF, hung out in our dorm room (door propped open of course!), and then we went to Ruesday's (Ruby Tuesday's) & then to the dam - that was the best part of the day. We just went down to the waterfront, skipped rocks, and just talked in solitude. It was amazing. We watched the sun go down (well, kind of - we watched the reflection on the water - the trees covered it up). Once it was dark, we weren't ready to say goodbye yet, so we went to Walmart and Sonic. Talk about a high-class Jefferson City date! :) I had an amazing, relaxing time. Love him.

Love

2008-09-06T10:37:00.002-04:00

Last night my sister, dad, mamaw & papaw came up to Jeff City to have supper with me and see the room. It was great - except that we went to Applebee's :( ... which I suggested ... ? Oh well, it was still great! They liked seeing the room, especially now that it actually looks lived in and homey. Brad is coming over in about an hour and a half, which is going to be great to see him!

I <3 Anna!

2008-09-04T16:32:00.003-04:00

Today I met Anna at the Chop House at the Bass Pro place thingy (official name). It was absolutely amazing! We were talking about it and admittedly sounded like lovers, but I had missed seeing her and her voice and spending time together so much! After lunch we went to Marble Slab and just sat out in the shade, had ice cream, and talked. It was wonderful! I feel so fortunate because God has blessed me in so many ways - in the ability to maintain the meaningful friendships from high school and move on from the draining ones, to meet new people and form tight bonds with them, to attend school and actually enjoy it, and of course to keep close with all my family. I feel too blessed; I don't understand why God would shower me with gifts the way He does - I don't deserve it! Today was wonderful and only served as a reminder to me that a high school friendship can become more than just that ... and that it can actually last if it's something worth working at.

Feeling Better!

2008-09-03T22:32:00.004-04:00

Just got back from BASIC - the BCM worship service, and I really really enjoyed it! It was nice being out & about, meeting some new people and hanging out with the cool people I've met so far. There are even some mission trip opportunities coming up (very cheap, I might add) that I am interested in. Possibly more to come on that!

Every time I begin to doubt something, God reveals Himself in one way or another. The only thing is, it's up to me whether I choose to see Him or not. Tonight was great; praise to God!

Still Getting Used to It

2008-09-03T19:15:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I can be kind of a loner. Sometimes I am content to just sit in my dorm room by myself watching TV or reading ... Is that so wrong? I know I want to get involved in some kind of ministry here in order to build some strong relationships, but that is a bit of daunting task. I try to set small goals for myself (go to church, go to Bible study, go out with this group & meet new people, etc.), but my brain never really lets me get away from the "you MUST make new strong friendships" mentality. And that is hard for me. I consider myself an outgoing person, but at the same time, sometimes so many new people is a little overwhelming, especially when some are much more outgoing than me. "Ms. Friendly" in high school - this should be easy right?

OKAY ........... breathe.

This is just one of the many new experiences I am going to have here; I have to remember that. This is out of my comfort zone, but that is what I wanted and it's what God has given me. He's not throwing something new and unfamiliar at me only to watch me fail. He is right here with me every step of the way. He is more important than anything else - what other people think of me, grades, family, what other people think of me ... God is bigger.

Labor Day

2008-09-02T14:13:00.005-04:00

Had a wonderful weekend (well, it was Saturday & the early morning of Sunday!) with the girls at Mary's cabin in Virginia. It was a very relaxing time! I also was able to spend Sunday with Bradley. We went to O'Charley's (Mary calls it that "Viking Food" place) and then hung out & watched Heroes. Twas a grand night! After that I went home and spent the night, which was very strange, the whole having to pack a bag to go home deal. It was weird. And I couldn't sleep in my bed; it was just too .... I don't know. So I took over Allie's bed. :) On Monday we all just kinda hung around the house and laughed. And it was wonderful. One of the most important things I've learned from being at college so far is that there is no laughter like that shared with family. It's truly something different from everything else.

Once I was back here at the dorm, I kind of had this feeling of peace wash over me. Before starting college I was always worried that it would be weird when I came home, like I would feel like some kind of a visitor. Thankfully, that's not the case. I realize that I can have two homes: here in my world of freedom and dorm life, and the one that I've always had with my family. That is a good feeling, knowing that closeness with my family is still possible even when physical distance is thrown into the mix.

Can't wait to see what happens next!

- h

Good Day

2008-08-28T20:35:00.005-04:00

Just got home from spending some well-needed time with the family. It was great! It almost feels strange being at home now though, because it is and isn't home at the same time; that's an odd feeling. But either way, it was just great to be there.

After tomorrow, we've got a long weekend! Heading to Mary's cabin for a bit this weekend and then spending Sunday night at home. I'm really looking forward to it!

Also, got a haircut today. Every time I seem to get it shorter and shorter and shorter. That's how I like it, and that's how it'll stay!

For tonight,

- h

Surprise Party!!

2008-08-26T21:07:00.005-04:00

Just got back from Mary's surprise party for her 19th birthday! It was so much fun; I got to use my acting skills to lure unsuspecting Mary to the basement for the partay =]

When I begin to feel stressed about school and everything, God reminds me of His presence not only through Himself but also through others He has recently placed into my life. My newfound friends mean the world to me (as do my ones back home), and the bonds I am forming here are amazing. Can't wait to see what happens next.

- h

Needed: More Time

2008-08-26T16:04:00.003-04:00

I can never settle down. I am always so restless, even when I try to sleep anymore. I'm not sure what's wrong or how to fix it. I haven't gone to God with anything like I should anymore, which is probably a major part of the problem. I'm worried.

- h

Not Enough Time

2008-08-25T20:17:00.002-04:00

I just feel like there's not enough time to be a truly successful student and be involved in every single thing on campus. I know I won't be able to attend EVERY little thing on campus, but tonight's Howdy Hoot! And here I sit in my dorm ... by my own choice. Ah, I need wisdom. And about 12 more hours in a day.

- h

70's Dance

2008-08-22T22:03:00.002-04:00

Just got back from a 70's-themed dance in the MSAC parking lot. Sounds kinda lame, but it was actually a lot of fun! I left when the line-dancing started ...

Tomorrow is gonna be a pretty full day. I'm gonna do my first batch of laundry with Mary (pray for us!), and then one of my friends won a free facial thing, so some of us are going to get some. After that, I just have some studying to do and at 8 ... IRONMAN! Movies on the lawn! Woohoo!

Well, that's about it for today. College life is running pretty smoothly as of now.

- h

First Friday!

2008-08-22T07:18:00.002-04:00

About to head out for my last day of school this week. Overall, I have liked it. Old Testament has stressed me out a bit (obviously), but I am making it.

I got to see Bradley yesterday, which was very very nice. We went to Schezuan Garden (woohoo) and then drove around Knoxville a bit. It was a lot of fun; I've really missed him.

More to come later,

- h

Ugh! Note-taking!

2008-08-20T23:06:00.002-04:00

If you know me at all, you know I am over-analyzing, nearly incapable-of-summarizing perfectionist. Note-taking from a religion book is not fun! I can't figure out how to condense things, so I end up with 2 1/2 pages on 13 text book pages worth of info. It sucks, and I don't know how to fix it.

- h

First Day

2008-08-20T18:37:00.002-04:00

Today was the first day of college, and it turned out being a lot better than I thought it would. Every day I discover more reasons to be thankful for attending a smaller, Christian school. For instance, I walked into my 3rd class today, Honors Old Testament, to have our professor open class with prayer requests and a word of prayer. How awesome!! God continually reassures me that He is right here with me, but it is also comforting to find fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

We also had Eagle Strut tonight, a song-and-dance shindig for each hall. Burnett's theme was "First Day at C-N." The songs were "We Go Together" from Grease for the unity of living in a dorm, "Hakunah Matata" (I tried) was for "no worries about your new life and first days in class" ... this is the group I was in, and finally "Joyful, Joyful" from Sister Act. It was a lot of fun, and out of all the residence halls, we won!!

Carson-Newman is becoming home more and more to me everyday. Though I miss my family and friends, I know this is where God wants me, and so this is where I'll stay.

For now,

- h